|Posted on March 5, 2013 at 10:40 AM|
It's foggy outside and as I backed down the driveway to go to the store, I noticed the little droplets of mist that had collected on the edge of the pepper tree leaves. Dangling like glass ornaments, glistening in the early morning. Everything is cool and has an edge of mystery. A morning where you want to snuggle, to hunker down by a fire with a good read, or a good "watch".
It's Spring. Things are slowly starting to seem like a new year. That it isn't clean up after the holidays or getting used to writing 2013 time. I am 53 this year and feel like I know nothing- or am just dicovering so much. Life happens. All around you and sometimes you feel like a child in the center of a highway. People, like cars, speeding past, honking (like they know where they are going) Hell bent on SOMETHING. I bet they don't know what. Then that moment hits. That clear and transforming moment, that, no matter how small or how strange, hits you and everything is clear. As if all the moments in your life. all those crystal bright and transforming "notices" from God- are right in front of you.
The morning sight of the water droplets hit me like that. Chandelier glass, hanging from a bright green leaf, reflecting the sunlight. Reflecting tiny sequences of landscape as I backed past. I saw all the huge pepper trees on my childhood street and city. The feel of the dropped seeds as they lay underneath with tiny branches and leaves. The lacey shade they produce. My bare feet in the summers as I ran down Victoria Ave to where ever I was going. Each summer being so determined to toughen my bare soles to a hard leather and be able to stand the hot cement and roads. To prove I was a wild southern Cali child. To be on vacation from school.. Why this (my feet) was so important, I am not quite sure at this point in my life. I think it was the Tom Sawyer in me. The reader of Tarzan books and the inner adventurer. Sometimes, it was just because I needed to be a kid. (and a Tom Boy).
In tiny moments, we find the perfection of the universe- if we just notice. A child hugging their parent. A hand in another's. The way the setting sun slips through the colors of sunset as it falls down the horizon. How very clear those moments become when we notice. How permanent in our memories. Building blocks to base opinions and reactions. I am so lucky to have so many good memories. So many happy moments to overlap the sad. There are so many with clear, horrible and ever replaying. memories in their lives. Those who are frightened and just surviving and those who are running from things they cannot get out of their hearts and minds. One wishes they could help with that. My heart, in the darkness before I sleep on some nights, prays for that. To help, to understand, to mend. At least those whom I know about. To protect, those who cannot do so themselves. Wouldn't it be nice if we all acted on this huge and amazing feeling? That we all took the time to help the feelings for others flourish?
Sometimes the news is just a barrage of hate and reaction of one broken soul against another. I guess that's what we are here to learn. To recognize the growthtoward self betterment and act on it. To see the need to do so and be more- inside and out.
I know a vision of a perfect pepper leaf and a droplet shouldn't move me into such deep ponderings- but then again- who am I to fight the need to be better? Or the little clear messages that are sent. So expertly, by things so much bigger and better than our selves?
(and the droplets still looked really cool)
Categories: Life and our Hearts